I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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