I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
