shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it because I queefed?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
