She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
