You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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