She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
