That's intense
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
