There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
