I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
