so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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