Already got asked if we're dating
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
