No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
