i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
