I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
organizing the empties. That sober.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
