I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
