I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
