I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
