Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
