He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
