never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
