He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize