just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
