Do vagina's smell?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
