I don't think brook has ever known best
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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