apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
