2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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