there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize