I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
