Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
