I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
