Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
