I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
