Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
