He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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