I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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