I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize