Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
