why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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