When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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