before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize