Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
