Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
