Small penises have feelings too.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
no you cant smoke seaweed
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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