You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
