...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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