so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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