where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
