i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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