I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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