She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
