i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
