We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
