this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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