I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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