she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
