Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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