Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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