I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's the barista slut.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
