Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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