I just pynch a tree in the face
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize