it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm too high and old for this...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
