you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
