i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
